SSF Interrogation

 Sean H. Doyle of Brooklyn, Ny

 SSF: Insert your own survey question and answer here  

Sean: What do you wish you had more of?________________________ 

Sean: Discipline.

   

SSF: If you could have coffee with any author, who would it be? 

Sean: James Frey. I’d like to not only apologize for judging him when the [M]Oprah shitstorm went down, but also ask him how he learned to emotionally withstand such awful criticism from people. All y’all motherfuckers are still way too hard on a guy who just wanted to write books. Isn’t that what we’re all trying to do? Have you read “Bright Shiny Morning” yet? Read it, then get back to me.

 

SSF: If you were trapped in a basement for ten days and could only bring one CD and one person, what and who would you bring? 

Sean: CD: The Stooges - Funhouse -- arguably the greatest rock and motherfucking roll album of all time. I will bare-knuckle fight you in the middle of the street over this one.  

Person: 17 year old me. I’d love to be able to explain some things to him, and I think it would probably take around ten days’ worth of time for it to sink in. Plus -- I’d really love to kick his ass. 

SSF: What are you currently reading? 

Sean: How about I just give you a list of books that I have read in the last month?  

“American Junkie,” Tom Hansen

“Buffalo Lockjaw,” Greg Ames

“Dear Everybody,” Michael Kimball 

Also -- I try to read Denis Johnson’s “Jesus’ Son” at least once every couple of months. Perfect stories.

  

SSF: What is your least favorite ethnic group? 

Sean:This question does nothing but belittle the evolution of my spiritual being. You are now my least favorite ethnic group for asking me such a thing. 

[It was a trick question, dude.]

  

SSF: What is your most noticeable nervous habit? 

Sean: I am very shy. Because of this, I sometimes use boisterousness [and at times, physical intimidation -- I have mastered The Care Bear Stare] as a means to cover up my insecurities. If I start riffing on something that makes people uncomfortable, I will always cross the line -- it is much easier on me than them possibly knowing that I sometimes have to sleep with the lights on.

  

SSF: What have you written that you are most proud of? 

 Sean:  I'm still working on that, actually.

  

SSF: What should we all be doing more of in our lives to be happier? 

Sean: Happiness is an alien concept for a lot of people who are creative, you know? I think everybody has different things that cause them to crack a smile. Me? I get my kicks hanging out with my dog -- nothing feels better than unconditional love. 
 

As far as things we can all do to be happier -- and this is sappy as fuck now, but I think it is important -- tell the people that matter to you how you feel about them. Do it without provocation. Do it earnestly. The dopamine rush of seeing someone you love feeling good about themselves is infectious.
 

SSF: Have you ever hung out with Hare Krishnas? 

Sean: Not in Real Life, no. But I did go through an odd couple of days where I listened to a lot of Shelter and 108.

SSF: Would you consider yourself a vampire or a werewolf, and why? 

Sean: I don't like sweets.  

SSF: What is the strangest thing that has ever happened to you on the subway? 

The strangest? Just one? I once got punched in the balls on a crowded L Train during rush hour by a Chinese man with Down's Syndrome. He and his "handler" got off at 1st Avenue. A very beautiful young woman then walked over to me, handed me her business card, and told me she'd like to buy me a cup of coffee. Not bad for a Monday, right? I could write a series of short stories about my experiences on the subway.   

SSF: What is your preferred bagel and cream cheese combination: 

Sean: Pumpernickel with regular cream cheese. Toasted.  

SSF: Thoughts on soul mates: 

Sean: I'm a Believer.  

 

SSF: On a scale of 1-10, how comfortable are you with being alone? 

Sean: 6.89

  

SSF: Any last thoughts?  

Sean: Hard work will set you free.