Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Cage We Cannot See

 by Thinkingtoohard

You didn’t tell me we were too different.
Or that your job was too time-consuming.
Or that you might be in love with me. Or that you were just too fucking scared.
You didn’t say I was too good for you, or not good enough.
You didn’t tell me she was pregnant, nor did you share your real name.
You didn’t say anything of substance, actually.
Just “I can’t.”
And that doesn’t leave much to weigh, other than possibility.
The heavy burgundy drapes would have been closed against the orange
glow of the parking lot lamps, shutting out our spouses. And I
definitely would have watched your chest rise and fall under the downy
blankets, so I could ingrain it on my memory. Because later, I would
need to recall that time, reassuring myself it was not another 3 am
visceral fantasy.
Then I would marvel at the gods again for having the grace to share you with me.
The kiss truly was a prelude. A taunting, warm, wet recollection of
who we are beneath the caricatures. Her Husband and His Wife, and Mom
and Dad, and all the things we pretend to be for the sake of
Your brilliant smile pulled up the corners of your mouth and showed
off your dimples. It told me you were afraid. Your soft lips on mine
told me the fear was your lion to tame, and that you were more than
It’s counter-intuitive, I know, to stand against the biting cold yet
feel the blaze within.
We peeked through the plexiglass walls, realizing too late that they
weren’t thick enough to guard our wounded egos. We were exposed and it
was okay, maybe for the first time.
Pieces of lovely blue sky and warmth, woven with tryst, raw emotion,
need. The universe was about to grant our innermost unspoken wish.
My hands trembled with joy and anticipation; yours with trepidation.
The lion’s cavernous jaws had ripped off too many chunks of your
steely flesh. In the end, you thought it easier to let him consume
So, no, the lies don’t count. But I cannot restore you. Your faith
must come of its own accord.
Our fountain pen is poised over the paper, dripping great blots of black ink.
Please. Slay the lion.

is the girl next door. Keep an eye on your husband. She is proud this week that she has not lost her cool with her own husband, and it's Wednesday already!
She writes here:

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