Bachelor

by Craig Sernotti

I took her to a

posh Italian restaurant

with valet parking

for our date.

I had to excuse myself to the

bathroom

when our entrees arrived.

Diverticulitis once again had impeccable timing.

Later that night, drunk,

she told me roll onto my stomach

for a nasty surprise.

She spread my ass.

And found something.

A clump of toilet paper the size of an

avocado pit.

For some reason

my Facebook page still says

"Single."

Craig Sernotti writes when he's horny, sad, indifferent, drunk, inspired, tired, wired, contemplative, in mixed company, and/or alone. His first poetry collection, FORKED TONGUE, was recently release by Blue Room Publishing and is available from Amazon.com. The one thing he did this week that he's proud of is recycle a bong. Love Mother Earth.