by J. Bradley
May 1, 1986
In the Dover Beach Community Pool bathroom, Nick Sawyer and Bill Blakersby made soup in one of the urinals using my Speedo. Our first grade class watched the bathroom door spit us out. At the twenty year reunion, most of them can't remember what happened from 11:30 am to 11:32 am that day.
February 5, 1993
Dare unzipped my fly to show the sleepover the truth. I sacrificed my deck of Magic: the Gathering cards to cleanse their memory. I didn't want to be known in high school as that guy who unleashed a sickly hydra in the halls at will.
March 16, 2000
Her tongue played my teeth like a flute as we kissed like leaking oxygen tanks in the rock garden. When the bicycle cops showed up, she threw her blanket on my lap like an attic.
January 1, 2009
After seven bottles of champagne, the four of us sweated like an SAT question. The other couple stopped ruining the green chair in our living room for a moment to stare at my fiancée and I through the warped glass of personal space.
October 17, 2057
My wife ordered the mortician to weld the fly shut, staple the pants to my waist until it was time for my last private dance in the oven.
J. Bradley is the author of Dodging Traffic (Ampersand Books, 2009) and the Interview Editor at PANK Magazine. He lives at iheartfailure.net.
wow, love it. Favourite line, "The other couple stopped ruining the green chair in our living room for a moment to stare at my fiancée and I through the warped glass of personal space." You're awesome.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, you are more awesome :)
ReplyDelete