Wednesday, March 31, 2010

OBSCURE BLOW JOB STORY #1

by Anon

I was sitting at work in my cubicle when a guy who worked near me, but was off that night, decided to IM me on facebook. After a few awkward minutes of trying to figure out what he wanted, this transpired.

Him: so.. what are you doing
Me: I'm at work dude.
Him: oh.. listen um
Me: Yeah?
Him: never mind i should go
Me: what
Him: i get really forward when im drunk
Me: oh
Me: i'm straight dude, sorry
Him: have you ever tried
Me: yes. and i'm flattered but no thanks
Him: what if i come down there and give you a blow job
Me: it won't work, I won't get hard. no hard feelings tho right?
Him: what if you tried to blow me
Me: i'm straight, why would i want to blow you
Him: i'll give you 200 bucks

Half an hour later, he was asking if he could kiss me, and I shrugged. I felt a little like I was the main character in Basketball Diaries, but I had no real drug problem, I just wanted the 200 bucks. He came quickly and left awkwardly. We have not spoken of it since, except once when he asked for another one and I told him "200 bucks" and he got mad.

Anon
is the third person representation of a writer who can't quite admit they gave a blowjob for 200 bucks yet. The one thing inanimate object he would choose to talk to is Margaret & Nancy's underwear, just to ask: "Thong, panties, or boyshorts?"

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